Why the heck can't Riot make balanced champs?

The only (kind of) balanced champ they released was Kindred. Just look at this Illaoi tentacle thingy. How disgusting. Able to tank lots of damage? Check. Retarded amounts of damage with abilities? Check. Ultimate which makes her able to crush bot her enemy top laner and enemy jungler? Check. Ability which stalks an enemy for a ridicilous amount of time without being able to do anything about it? Check. A broken hit box? Check. Gap closer? Check. WTF Riot.
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