why my play skills never get better

i play from 2016 and im suck never played 10 games ranked i only play aram and game mods because normal is boring now i watch faker videos so i buy tayliah like him and go to normal first game i was 2/11 second was 4/9 i fell like trash my normal win rate 10% aram win rate 60% i hate lose evrey game i was lvl 140 bot prema ban now new acc lvl 23 i fell i will never be like good players i always lose lose lose lose i spended years on this game for nothing{{sticker:sg-soraka}}
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