I give him a name and a back story
you can create a whole saga depending on how many uses you get out of the item
first there was Steve, only 2 weeks from retirement, he fought bravely and died with honor
then came Bob, brother of Steve. Bob was a conscientious objector, a pacifist, a gentleman and a scholar, he denounced his pacifist beliefs so that he could avenge steve and get justice for...
After bob inevitably fell in battle (he was a lover not a fighter) Steve Jr enters the fray
Steve Jr got a triple kill, took a tower, AND an inhib before he finally was overcome
I think Steve Jr could have carried us to victory, but instead of our team rallying behind Steve Jr, they were too busy complaining in chat and typing nonsense like
"Karma, why are you using your shield and peel on minion"
"why you buy banner against full ad comp"
and other bronze excuses like that
RiP Steve, Steve Jr, and Uncle Bob
you were too butiful for this world