How can i escape the renekton trap?

So i’m a hardstuck d1 player for over 5 seasons now. Last season i quited for over 6 months decaying all over down to plat5 When i came back in season8 my mmr was still high so i was placed in p1 and to no surprise i got demoted to p2 after a loss series due to rustiness. I ‘ve quickly climbed back to d4 but i seem to be stuck there for now. So to the main subject. I’m sort of otp renekton and i’m under the impression that i’m caught in a trap where i can’t escape because he feels so safe and powerful in the early game that i have never learned how does it feel to be the bullied and not the bullied. (In rare occasions back in s4 where he got first picked by the enemy team i would respond with the ultra duper cancer the one and only hard counter back then; prenerf lulu) Whenever i queue up for ranked solo i’m always like “come on! Just pick somebody else already” 30 secs later i instalock renekton out of fear not to feed and get reported. I’ve created smurf accounts trying to learn camille, gnar but it’s a whole different story to play in gold than it is to play in diamond. You can’t learn how to play vs diamond players by practicing against gold players. What would you do in this rough situation. “Uninstall you pile of croc junk” Najk So?
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