why play this game?

seriously, no hating here, just a question. when I win I feel alright, but if I lose I feel devastated and super aggressive, nothing compared to the mild amusement that a win gives me, can someone tell me a serious reason to play this game if that's the situation? it's not like in the long term it adds to your personal growth or something, at this point it is just an addiction that needs to be ended. Thoughts?
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