This is the worst Christmas ever. I feel so shitty, that being alone in the darkness is actually less painful than being around others.
I let my family down because I didn't want to celebrate Christmas with them, and instead stayed home alone. I feel very bad about that...but I don't want to see anyone. I feel like a terrible person. And very sad as well.
It is dark in my room and very quiet. Right now I'm too tired to cry more. I'm going to sleep. To be asleep is the best thing I know, aslong as I don't get nightmares. (Of haunted houses and sad things)
I don't know why I wrote this. Maybe cuz it is the first time I've felt this shitty around Christmas that I wanted to make a note about it.