I just trolled - An open apology

Hi, My name is Kuro, and I just trolled and died intentionally for the first time in about 4 years. So, I don't have much to say but I'm sorry to everyone affected by trolls or intentionally feeding people. ***** **Backstory** Here's a little backstory on what's going on with my life right now, you don't have to read this part, you can just skip ahead to the apology letter further below. So, I'm an 18-year-old Student, and right now I'm in 2.G, the second year of Gymnasium. And tomorrow is when I'll figure out, whether or not I'm able to go on to 3.G with my class. I've been struggling a lot with depression over the past three years, due to a lot of personal bullshit. And it's been getting worse lately, however when I play League of Legends, Overwatch or anything that has a community and teamplay-action. I forget all about those things, I forget all the bad thoughts or the fact I have to redo my whole life if I don't get through tomorrow. And it's really hard, especially because I woke up this morning after a terrible night of sleep, being sick almost not being able to breathe. Only to find out two people from your family was caught up in a car accident with one dead and one terribly injured and in a coma. And forced to pay two fines from a train tour that I've never been on or a car I don't even own, but as said, I'm an 18-year-old kid, what am I supposed to do about it except listen and do as told? So I chose to play a game of LoL, first game, went just fine, was an easy win. I had fun, great teammates, all in a happy cheerful mood, it basically made me forget about everything... The second game was where I snapped though... First thing I get into the champion select, I show I wanted Rakan, mid lane, no it's not trolling, that's just what I do... Our last pick, then without a word or a second of hesitation, bans Rakan. Ofc I spam chat like a nutty confused kid, and my teammates go like "WHAT THE F--- ARE YOU DOING" and he responds "Rakan Mid?" in the most disrespectful way I've ever felt through a chat. So I picked Mundo, mid lane, went cleanse ignite, no one dodges - we're down to the last three seconds, I press the x in the top right corner, but I hesitated to press yes. ***** **I'm sorry** I'm sorry for not just playing something else, but I don't know what went through my head. I'm sorry for not just pressing yes to get out of the game, and not force three other people to drop 20 LP, just because someone banned who I wanted. I'm sorry for not fitting into the meta, and I'm sorry if it feels scary to see something out of the ordinary, but it happens. I'm sorry for intentionally dying to the enemy team, just because I feel terrible. And do you know what doing that made me realize? **It doesn't make me feel any better, because, in the end, I just made three other people feel bad too, just because one person felt like being a jerk to me.** I'm sorry for everything I've done that went against the summoners code, and I'll strive to make sure it doesn't happen again. ******* **And if any rioter sees this, I would like to request for my honor level to be reset, I don't think I deserve to have any honor level after what I just did. Hope you can fulfill this request, and I want to thank you in advance**. ********** I also want to thank anyone for reading this in advance, and I want to say feel free to comment how you feel about this, I'm not going to take mean comments to heart, but keep it clean. Sincerely, Kuro {{sticker:sg-ahri-2}}
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