Why is it hard for me to mute a player?

Whenever i encounter a toxic player i always contemplate whether i should mute them or not, i always end up not muting them and here's why. I like it when someone rages and flames because it just makes me laugh how someone can get so angry over a videogame, i also don't like it because it distracts me and it has a negative effect on my gameplay, so i'm stuck in this cycle of ''Should i mute this player and lose the entertainment or should i not mute this player and perform worse in the game?''. And yes i have tried muting everyone at the start of the game but it makes me feel guilty for some reason and i always end up un-muting everyone. Now you may think im a toxic and sick person because of this but trust me i never flame in my games and i barely even say anything i just use pings when necessary, am i weird or do i have some mental illness for thinking like this?
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