Got my first 14 day suspension - how can I change my attitude upon returning to the game?

The title says it all. I'm a regular player who sadly the other day went too far in game and ended up receiving a 14 day suspension - completely skipping the chat bans of 10/25 days - and its safe to say I'm already full of regret and shame. I like to think of myself as a nice guy in real life but over the last while playing League of Legends I've allowed myself to become more and more irritated and toxic to the point where I struggle to keep my hands away from the chat bar. Even in scenarios where I make the mistake and don't want to accept I'm plainly bad I may resort to just blaming the kit of the enemy champion I'm fighting. However, unlike other players who receive these punishments and refuse to ever admit the blame lies with them I fully understand my actions and take responsibility for them. It disgusts me that I've allowed myself to reach this point and in truth I am eager to make a positive change for the near future, regardless of how long that takes or how much effort I will need to input to make that change happen. With this is mind I'm turning to the forums and reaching out to the community - and potentially (If I'm lucky) members from Riot Games themselves - to ask this: How can I, as an avid player of League of Legends ensure that when I return to the game in the coming weeks I can maintain a positive, well-mannered and sensible mind-set throughout my experience playing the game? In truth, my biggest fear upon returning is how I will be feeling knowing that if I slip up again, it's over. It already plagues my mind thinking about how careful I'll have to be coming back to the experience, as if I will be walking a very fine tightrope, with no room for error. How can I learn to enjoy and play the game again, without also worrying constantly about how close I am to - metaphorically speaking - falling into the abyss of no return? I would also like to stress that this isn't a ploy or some joke I'm trying to pull - **I also don't expect foolish responses to this, I am very serious asking this on the forums** - I humbly seek answers from the community who time and time again have helped me with minor concerns I've had in game before, but given these recent circumstances and the ultimatum I now face, what advice can you folks give me, to help me become a better human being than I am now? They say that accepting responsibility for your actions is the first step to recovery. Can you assist me in taking the next step and beyond? Ragnarok.
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