I need help. Possibly of professional kind.
In the last 2 weeks, I've dropped 4 divisions in Gold because something flipped in my mind. I went from a docile, happy, shy guy with a kind.of professional look at the game to a egotistical smartass. It's like everything I learned about this game crumbled away like cookie in a single day. I've had about 20 more wins than losses at all times. Guess I had it going too good for me because now I have almost 20 more losses. I started the season with positive KDA, now it's really bad. I forgot how to play my favourite champs and I constantly have problems in the game because of it. For example, last hitting with Vayne with high pressure in lane. Before I had no problems having an equal CS with the opposing ADC or even higher, maybe even got in an AA if he went for lasthit. Now? I just can't. I've lost all my laning skills with her. And I know she's kind of out of meta because she loses vs. most ADCs in early, namely Graves, but I never had a problem dealing with those before. Caits, Jinxes, Ashes, it didn't matter, in the end I came out on top because I was able to outplay them in early most of the time or survive till later on. Did I mention I lost my ability to make plays as well? Well I did. And it sucks.
I've also gotten a deservedj warning about my behaviour 2-3 days ago. Reason? Since I started sucking, people started flaming me more. Before this "mind flip", I had no problems ignoring their words and I kept my mouth shut, even against the hardest of flamers. Now? I'll write an essay about the flamers plays and decisions. I don't mean I start going "STFU NOOB, 0 ganks!!111!" or similar. Instead, I fire up the smartass ego engine and write "Yes, your picture perfect ganks helped ALOT, since you know, you never ganked.". I don't enjoy bashing them like that, but at some point my mind said fu*k it, you're gonna reply to every flame and get even angrier. Scumbag brain...
Let me make something clear since i'm at the flaming part:
I leave all other people alone, never mentioning them once in these heated discussions with the flamer. I focus only on that guy, that one guy who just can't keep quiet. I know i'm bad, hell, I have no clue how I managed to get as high as promost to Plat. I know I've been sucking for the last 2 weeks and I don't need you telling me the same thing. It's clear already.
I've had teammates tell me to just mute the guy. I know I should do this at the first sight of flame. But noooooo, I'll argue with the guy and make the game even worse for everyone involved. Not intentionally, but unfortunatly this is how flaming works.
Oh, the no fun part, right...This game ain't fun for me for a long time now but now it went on the bad side (see the flaming part). I used to atleast chuckle, smile, or genuinly LOL at something as simple as a Blitz pull. Annnnnnnnnddd it's gone. No fun anymore, just anger.
And I believe I know the reason for this mental breakdown and it stems from real life. My job to be exact.
I work behind a MIG/MAG welding robot and on one particular day I was (willingly btw) working my ass off. More than usually, I had a ton of energy. I'd finish my quota at 12:00 when it's supposed to be finished at around 13:45 and I went to other work stations beforehand during the shift. The looks on coworkers was priceless by the way, it was the biggest ":O WTF" ever. And it was worth it. BUT...
While I was cleaning the table, the shift leader came by and saw me cleaning. He started asking why am I cleaning the table, it's 12:00. I replied that it's because I've finished my quota and he straight up went on a tantrum. His words? "WHY THE HELL DID YOU FINISH SO EARLY, WHAT THE HELL, WHY DON'T YOU GO TO OTHER WORK STATIONS???" I was managing my temper at that point, so I calmly replied "I did. You office guys were walking by all day. Are you saying you didn't see me?" And queue another tantrum. This time he started with "BUT THE RULES CLEARLY STATE THAT YOU MUST FINISH AT THAT SPECIFIC TIME" I asked for a reason. He said "BECAUSE IT SAYS SO ON THE PAPERS".
And this my friends, is where I completly lost it. This is my reply "ARE YOU FU*KING KIDDING ME??!! BECAUSE IT SAYS SO ON THE PAPERS? WELL GUESS WHAT ASSHOLE, THE PAPERS ALSO SAY I SHOULD WORK AT THIS ROBOT CELL ONLY 4 HOURS A DAY BEFORE SWITCHING TO SOMETHING ELSE (this is a rule put up by their superiors) AND YOU F*CKERS AREN'T FOLLOWING OR ENFORCING IT!! OR MAYBE I SHOULD REMIND YOU OF THE STATE LAW THAT THE MANUAL WORKER IS ENTITLED TO AT LEAST 12 HOURS OF REST MINIMUM BEFORE NEXT SHIFT? GUESS WHAT, YOU GUYS DIDN'T ABIDE BY THE LAW SEVERAL TIMES (this is my case only, don't know with other coworkers). SO GO AHEAD AND SHOWE THAT RETARDED RULE OF YOURS SOMEWHERE."
Another :O was seen from coworkers. The shift leader just stood there for a second and then, I assume, went to the office to tell other guys what just happened, I expected the shift leader to come back to yell at me some more or some higher up telling me i'm fired. Didn't happen. They left me alone since then.
And I was pissed as hell all day because of it. I got home and started up LoL. Guess what happened. Such streak, many losses. And this made it even worse to the point I'm at now.
So, to finish up here. I really need some help. Some suggestions, advices, anything that you think will help.
Sorry about the long post and some harsh language, I needed to get this out somewhere.
If you read trough it all....I have no words other than good job and a thumb up to you.