Ranked anxiety?

I only played enough ranked this season to get back into P5 before quitting it again... Fast forward a few months later and I'm still sitting in P5 while the end of season is getting close, knowing that I could probably hit D5 before it ends, but every time I create a ranked lobby I get such anxiety that It literally gives me cramps and diarrhea, causing me to decide against it. How do I stop this? I've tried getting back into ranked by smurfing, and it went fine but as I'm ranking up fast and starting to approach games in which I can't consistently get 15+ kills every game the same issue is starting to appear again. I don't know how and when this even began, I used to be such a competitive person before. Has anyone else had similar issues? Is there a way to get over this?
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