Triggers? In my League of Legends? [RANT and hopefully the spark for a discussion]

Okay, so, I am a 24 year-old married female student who has been playing this game since season 1, after IceFrog stopped updating the original DotA. I love the game, and I play it for many reasons, one of which is that it helps me cope with a string of mental problems that I have. A few days ago, while playing a late-night/early-morning ranked game I was triggered for the second time in all these years I've been playing League. It was so bad that I basically said "fuck it, I'm telling Riot about this" because I think it's completely not okay that because of some random idiot's words, I started thinking about knives and couldn't stop thinking about knives for the remainder of the day. I'm gonna post below the conversation we had, but first of all, and I gotta say, I was surprised at how they handled it. In a good way. ME: > Sep 28, 20:28 > > Hello Riot Games, > > I'm going to be straight, and to the point with this ticket, as the title is in itself self-explanatory, and I am not in a very good mental state at the moment. > > I've been a League player since S1. I play this game for two reasons. One, Riot Games has yet to disappoint me, and two, it helps me cope with a host of mental problems, including generalized anxiety, panic syndrome, sleep disorder, self-harm and PTSD. Yes, I am that sensitive %%%%%. And yes, throughout the years, I've witnessed a lot of toxicity within the community, and despite being "that %%%%%", I've only been seriously triggered twice. > > The first time was last year, when, while playing a ranked game with a friend, he accidentally revealed in the chat that I am a girl, while trying to defend me from a toxic player. That player then went on to say that I probably was "one of those fat, ugly, sad 'gamer gurlz' who act like attention whores to get stuff", or something along those lines. I rarely, if ever, mention my gender or nationality when playing video games. I don't want to be a "girl gamer" or a "Romanian gamer" or a "Swedish gamer". I am a gamer, that's it. If suddenly people see me as a girl, I either get the above treatment, or am asked if I desire to see some random's penis. If it's not one of those two, then it falls in the spectrum in-between, which can range from patronizing attitudes such as "I see you specialize in ADC, but it's the man that should carry the woman, right? wink wink" to effusive praise for every kill I get or tower I destroy, which is equally patronizing. Either way, this is something I've learned to expect, along with the ever-present toxicity which overflows the chat box every other game. > > I've learned to sigh and just mute ragers, which is why playing League helps me mentally. Today, though, something snapped. I don't know. Maybe I'm having a bad night. Maybe I'm extra sensitive today, and am taking things a bit too seriously. Maybe I'm "that %%%%%" that needs to go uninstall. Maybe I picked Teemo. Maybe I wanted to play Teemo. Maybe Teemo was a valid pick. It may be, in fact, that no one gives a shit about stuff like this in silver anyway. Regardless of what happened in that game, of whether my performance was as good as it could have been (it wasn't), I was heavily triggered by one of the players on my own team. He suggested in all-caps that I kill myself, and later on, in post-game chat, he suggested I do it by drowning. > > Yeah, I am that %%%%%. I reported him, but so what? His summoner name is **removed**. At best, next time I see him he'll be chat-banned for a while. I may have access to a self-harm hotline, and I do know what to do when getting triggered to this degree, but what about other like me, who don't? > > Please Riot, get a goddamn handle on the community. This isn't cool at all. The tribunal is dead. > > Regards, > > ~ Kitty To which they replied the following day: > Wafa V.V. (Riot Games Player Support) > > Sep 29, 11:44 > > Hello Nynewhylenyne, > > First and foremost, neither I nor anyone at Riot Games want you to hurt yourself. > > I have provided a couple links for websites which handle these sorts of concerns, but I also recommend seeking a professional you can speak with directly. I don't want you to feel as though I'm dismissing you, but I'm not in any way qualified to help counsel you, and I don't want to make things worse. > > > > > > > Wafa V.V. > Player Support Specialist > Light Mage Apprentice, Demacian College of Magic which I wrote back: Sep 29, 14:01 > Hi Wafa V. V., > Thanks a lot for the links, but like I mentioned in my ticket, I know how to handle myself and have all the resources I need. > I do feel dismissed, but then again, I suppose it's not your job to do anything about this. Or is it? I don't know. I am not being sarcastic here, or salty about anything. All I'm saying is, this may be something that RG should spend some time on. > I suggest you read Liana K's series of articles published in The Escapist about video games and mental illness. If you care about the subject, or your playerbase. > Best regards, > Kitty > > P.S. I did not hurt myself. I did call friends. It was more or less alright. I thought that would be it, and was ready to send the e-mail exchange to Liana K herself, but the following day, I get this reply: > Ch13An (Riot Games Player Support) > > Sep 30, 13:50 > > Hello Nynewhylenyne, > > Ch13An here! I'm glad to hear that you are able to handle yourself and have all the necessary resources to help yourself out in times like these. Please do know that we are not dismissing you and your report. I won't patronize you by saying that I do understand how you feel, but I do know what it's like to be on the receiving end of circumstances like these in-game. > > With that being said, I'd like to thank you for bringing this player’s conduct to our attention. We will investigate their behavior and take the appropriate actions. If you feel as though your life is in danger, please do not hesitate to contact your local authorities. > > Here at Riot, we do take these kinds of reports seriously. These will provide us with valuable tracking information and help escalate these player to our attention for investigation. Each report brings violators of the Summoner's Code one step closer to restricted chat or suspension by our investigative audits. > > I'd like to thank you again for your patience and for taking the time out of your day to send us this report. It is our goal to continue working towards making experiences on the Fields of Justice fair and fun for all Summoners! > > Please let me know if you have any additional feedback or concerns. > > P.S. I like your suggestion. I would highly recommend you post that on our boards so that it'll be visible to everyone. You may access the boards here: > > > > Ch13An > Riot Player Support For those who don't know about Liana K's articles in The Escapist about mental illness and gaming, here's the links: Part 1: Part 2: Part 3: Part 4: SO, uhm, I know this is a long post and it's fine if nobody cares or if I get trolly replies, there anyone else who's been triggered by someone or something in League of Legends? If so, how do you handle it? Are you one of those people that tells others, jokingly or not, to go kill themselves? If so, why do you do it? Discuss.
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