Overloard99 (EUNE)
: If you are unsocial guy that can be fixed going to therapist and such things. No shame in that as many people go there. Btw You gonna need to find new friends to not feel lonely. Try to make 1 or 2 new friends. Small number is better than large one. If you found a girl you like > then take the guts and talk to her. If not then wait more.
I don't need a therapist, it's not like I am suicidal or anything. Thanks for your comment anyway.
: > [{quoted}](name=i never smurf,realm=EUW,application-id=eZuvYsEr,discussion-id=f7Xl1AGB,comment-id=,timestamp=2017-08-04T22:25:24.584+0000) > > I made a smurf, just to stay anonym because this is very emberassing to me. I am posting this here, because League is my life and I don't know where else to go. Also, can a moderator please put this into the "Off-Topic" boards? I can only post in "Help & Support" and I know it's the incorrect board. > > I am lonely. I have no friends, I never had. I am an introvert, I hate it to play or be with others. As long as I am alone I am happy. I am not even interested in sex or something like that. Call me a loser if you will. > > But something happened that made me really depressed and unhappy with my life: I watched Regular Show, a cartoon on Cartoon Network. It is not good, but not bad either. It is wierd, but I like it. I enjoyed it. But then I reached the finale of Season 4 and it destroyed me inside. > If you are not familiar with what I am talking about, in that show there is a guy that loves that girl, but he never had the guts to talk to her or go out with her. They never went into a deeper relationship. They eventually became good friends, but nothing more than that. Then they finally escaped the friendzone, but shortly after she brakes up with him, because she goes to college. She can't miss this opportunity, so she leaves him. > > I don't know how a cartoon can hit me so deep. I kinda relate to that guy so badly. Like him, I am nothing special. I am lazy and just do stuff that is neccessary. Work is not important and I live my life as it comes. But then that episode happened, where she leaves him and I just can't handle it. > I don't care about the cartoon or what will happen next in it, but it reflected upon me so deeply. I am alone, have no one to talk to. And that episode made me realize that I want more than this, that I want a relationship. It hit me so deep and emotionally, that I literally have nightmares because of it; in my dreams I always have a realationship with that cartoon girl and it always ends with her leaving me. This is so %%%%ed up and I want this to end. I think I am crazy. I can't take it anymore. > > But how do I find a girl that likes me? Online dating is bullshit. The school I go to has almost no girls, and those have a boyfriend already. And I never drink alcohol, take drugs or smoke, I never go to parties because I simply hate it. I am a partypooper and people have no fun around me. > I think I am very creative. But I heard that creativity is caused by depression, so I fear that I lose my creativity if I actually do try to get a girlfriend. On one hand I want a relationship, but on the other I fear that I lose who I am once I do get into one. > > I am desperate and I don't know what to do. Help. Get a pet.
: ***
Thanks for your comment, I appreciate it. For me it is really embarrissing, because I know that many people don't watch cartoon, especially those at my age. I guess some watch anime, I don't, but that's another story.
Rípley (EUW)
: 1. There is nothing wrong with living life as it comes, because it could be gone tomorrow. Add to that, I personally find it both hilarious and sad how some people's identity literally is their work. 2. There are many more people who suffer the same as you do, there are site (Most commonly on facebook) that have groups of people who are wanting to met others in the same situation as you. 3. Relationships is like everything else in life, you can't always be sure it's going to last, but that shouldn't stop you when the time comes to enter in one:)
Thanks for your advice. I never had a facebook account, because i have no friends (I have no use for it) and I heard that facebook is really scummy when it comes to business. Maybe you are right and I should start using facebook, trying to find someone there.
SiffLort (EUNE)
: > [{quoted}](name=i never smurf,realm=EUW,application-id=eZuvYsEr,discussion-id=f7Xl1AGB,comment-id=000b0000,timestamp=2017-08-05T09:34:41.507+0000) > > And I am posting on the LoL boards, because LoL is my life and I don't know where else to ask. Weak bait is weak. I've seen better trolls.
I don't like you. I am not trolling. Did you were never sad in your life? I guess life must be very easy for you...
: I actually love beeing lonely from time to time. Gives me the chance to think about where i am in my life and what i want for myself. I had this time some years ago where i felt a bit like you. My GF broke up, my grades were shitty and besides my rent i had not much more money. Plus im pretty good at seeing all the bad stuff in my life and at myself. But at some point i sorted it out to change perspective. There is allways something you like. Something you are good at. Focus on it. And for all the bad stuff: change it or forget it. Thing is: the moment you like yourself others will like you aswell. I met the greatest friends in my life when i was happy.
Thanks for your comment.
: Greetings. I think most of the others here already dropped some great advice, but I'd like to expand on that a little, especially on the part about being true to yourself... Obviously, don't try to be someone you're not, but I'd tell you: **Don't force yourself to stay the way you are.** You and your life can and WILL change around you, change might come gradually, or maybe you will have some really impactful experiences in the future that change your personality and perception of things. --- I was pretty introverted myself, and I was really shy for the majority of my life. In the past few months though, this is changing. I enjoy going out, and I actively look for opportunities to do so. I myself had some impactful experiencs, they were basically just new and kinda uncompfortable situations that totally paid off in the end. I had to **dare** to do something fun, and it TOTALLY paid off! --- That's the next important part: Dare to do something new and uncompfortable, you slowly have to push yourself out of your compfort zone to gather new experiences, think of it as an RPG, you have to level up and do new things in real life too! You might've heard of things like the "yes challenge". People say "yes" to every opportunity they get, which is essentially just forcing yourself out of your compfort zone too. --- **To recap: ** - Don't just slap the label "introvert" onto you... Even if it might be true now, ALWAYS be open to new things, and don't let this "definition" of yourself define what you're doing in the future. It's purely based on what you did/felt in the past. - Try to do new things a lot, and find new stuff that you can enjoy doing. "Just do it" is a phrase everyone hears a lot, but rarely actually follows on, because well, it certainly is hard at times, no doubt. I wish you the best of luck, I hope you will also find a way to be a little more satisfied, no matter if you stay an introvert or not :)
Thanks for your respons. I appreciate it.
SiffLort (EUNE)
: Look at the times we live in. A mentally unstable guy, clearly in need of a professional help, created a topic in League of Legends forum. The guy was emotionally destroyed by a CARTOON and now seeks online help. I mean, what the hell? What's wrong with people today? How did we come to this? What happened to natural selection?
Did I choose to get destroyed by a cartoon? I enjoy memes, and that show was featured on some meme compilations from time to time, so I gave it a shot. And I enjoyed it, because one of the characters reflects so good upon me. I don't know how that could hit me so hard, but it did. And I am posting on the LoL boards, because LoL is my life and I don't know where else to ask.
zaneknn (EUNE)
: First of all, Hi, my name is Zane(girl) 22 y/o, my first time im is some disscusion in lol, sorry for many mistakes in my gramatic , not so into this right now Interesting, you kinda say ur lonely but at the same time you want to stay anonym! It makes no sense for me, because if i would actually want to be friend with u i wouldn't want to know u by fake acc or whatever!! I think u actually dont know r u lonely or just desperate of some attention. People are giving advices here , adding u as friend, and ur like - no sorry i got my advice what i needed, people mby wants to friend u, but u reject them, what is not good because u turn back to everyone and then 'cry' that ur lonely! i can tell you that if u would open up then u wouldnt be lonely, because u r the one who makes u feel the way ur feelin ! And if u make a big THING out of cartoons , boy GET OUT! We all sometimes feel lonely and to not be lonely lookin for attention, and its fine, but i know how u feel when u aint one of society, and that u think no one loves u, well mby think twice before say that , 100% parents and graandparents love you! You aint gona find love in LOL, even me, im single and not so social , and play lol, like , i know i can do better but this is my comfort zone ! ** Youre the one who has to put a step forward and stop faking with acc and hide who u r!** {{champion:114}}
I made this account because the thing with the cartoon is very embarrasing to me. And I don't want the people that know me know about this.
corpus (EUNE)
: While I would seem to be a different kind of a guy (middle ground between intro and extrovert), save for the things we have in common, ie I'm a teetotaller and a non-smoker, too, my girlfriend is more like you - she is an introvert. Guess how we hooked up? A game. We played and still ocassionaly play with our guild a game called Guild Wars 2. She has always been into games, just like me. But still, she had a closed circle of 3-5 best friends, girls, with whom she met and spent time with. Then, she decided to leave her comfort zone when our guild, that she joined when she came back to playing GW2, decided to set up a guild trip for a weekend in a lakehouse, which she came to! Yes, that was somewhat revolutionary for her and... she met me. She fell in love with me and I fell in love with her, but it was then, at that first meeting that we felt special for each other. Be cautious, though - I am not saying you should find a gamer girl, too, only! However, I think that finding someone that enjoys the activies that you enjoy, while being an introvert, may help a lot. Plus, I read in numerous psychology articles once that introverts are best matched with extroverts, which would seem to be true. The thing about such relationships is to understand each other - introverts need a little time off with themselves sometimes, for instance for your creativity purposes, and an extrovert partner should completely understand it. An extrovert, on the other hand, needs some socialising at times and an introvert partner should let them do that. Mutual understanding is crucial for such relationships to function well. I believe that you need to leave your comfort zone once, for instance, join your close friends on their socialising event and maybe, maybe then you'll meet that second half that fits your right. Keep opening up, but at the same time don't force yourself into what you don't like. If you don't like drinking alcohol and smoking, never force yourself into that so the other person notices you. That's counterproductive. trust me. Always try to be yourself so the other person loves you for who you are. I hope I could help. Good luck, mate!
Thanks for the advice. I think what you said is really helpful.
Furnado (EUNE)
: You might not want advice from another loner like yourself but here's my 2 cents: 1. "As long as I am alone I am happy." - If that is true then you don't have a problem. But of course it's not all black and white and even loners like us have a need to talk with others from time to time. The way I deal with it is by playing online games: it's hard to form strong bonds but there are people that you can open up to. 2. If you are so afraid of not being in a relationship that you have nightmares, ask yourself why. It's best to think properly about your fears and then either accept them (for example my fear of heights) or conquer them (fear of failure). 3. If you feel like you will lose yourself by doing something, DO NOT do it. I can tell you from personal experience that it doesn't feel good to be an emotional chameleon. On the other hand if you feel that you will change without losing yourself, go for it: you don't have to be afraid of change if you stick to your values. 4. "How do I find a girl?" - This is my personal opinion but I do not think **finding** a girl is the right way. I would much rather stay forever alone than to be in a relationship just for the sake of being in one. IMPORTANT: Do not think anything is right or wrong without doubting it first and deciding for yourself. The above is just my opinion and if you disagree with any part of it do not blindly trust in a random guy like me on the internet. Hope this post will help you in whatever way possible.{{sticker:slayer-jinx-catface}}
Thank you for your advice. I appreciate it.
: I think a lot of people can relate in some way, but a lot of em just erased it from their priorities. > But how do I find a girl that likes me? Depends a bit on where you live. In my area, it's not common to talk with that girl next to you waiting for her coffee @ Starbucks, but NY or cities like that it's perfectly acceptable. I'd advise going for a hobby, you'll meet a lot of people with the same hobby so you're never short of talking material and usually, they can become long time friendships or relationships. > And I never drink alcohol, take drugs or smoke That's not something bad, even tho I consume alcohol and smoke like once a month, I often hear (from girls that came with me or I had a little chat with) how they are annoyed if there is no at least somewhat sober person around. You'll probably need to leave your comfort zone and do stuff you didn't do yet, but in the end, it's perfectly fine. By the sounds of it, you are not 50 years old and you have a lot of time to figure out what you want. Also, the attitude "nobody likes to have me around" is a really bad way to enter a friendship/relationship. There is a good friend of my dad who once told me to "act like people liked me" and guess what. It works. > I think I am very creative. But I heard that creativity is caused by depression, so I fear that I lose my creativity if I actually do try to get a girlfriend. I'm not informed on this topic so this is a none-educated opinion. You're not saying "I wanna stay depressed because I wanna keep my creativity", are you? Think about it. Is creativity helping you to become happy? Does it influence you in a positive way? At the end, it's up to you, but depression is nothin fun, my friend.
Thank you for your advice. I appreciate it.
: _ I never drink alcohol, take drugs or smoke, I never go to parties because I simply hate it. I am a partypooper and people have no fun around me._ There are many Girls/Humans like that out there. But the actual thing is, such things don`t really matter. Negative Self Perception can be a obstacle but never forget that there is always External Perception you can be actually the Person who finds a Girlfriend with the same attitude. If you are only willing to look around for it. I`m sure you can see and find yourself in such a Person if you only give yourself a Chance to go out and meet em. So you won`t hate yourself for trying and giving it a shot, only if you won`t even try it. Best wishes. Sorry for my bad English.
Thanks for your advice. Also, your english is okay.
: Well it's good that you realized that you want more than what you just have now. I think this is a wake up call for you to change your ways. Maybe you weren't really happy with being alone, maybe you were just comfortable and you realized that with watching that cartoon. I haven't had a girlfriend before. I have never really tried. However despite the lack of effort from me, it didn't stop some girls to approach me just because i was "out there". I'd like to remind you of some things, first, it's okay to like to be alone, most people you'll meet will understand that. Second, if you want to make new friends, you dont have to hang out 24/7 or chat all day with them, going out for dinner or hanging out for a couple of hours is completely acceptable, so you'll get your precious alone time and make friends. Third, remember that people have a wide variety of interests, try to get to know them even if you think they're boring or a waste of time. Learning is always good. Your creativity won't go with depression. When writing (in arabic) people are amazed by my talent. I started writing because i wanted a way to distract myself from depression and now that i've gotten rid of it my writing got only better, so as long as you can come up with new and original ideas, you'll be creative. Lastly, I'd love to help in any way possible. I don't have plenty of friends myself but people find my company enjoyable just because i learned how to listen and what to say (This will be great for you if you don't like talking too much like me) so if you'd like a friend or just some advice, add me on league and we can talk whenever you'd like. And remember, only you can walk the path that others open.
Thanks for the comment. I decline your friend offer, because I got good advice here. I don't think I need any more. Thank you anyway.
Farce (EUNE)
: About being asocial, I can relate. I'm not a smoker and usually don't drink either. About the rest, I shall resist the urge to meme since you seem to actually be serious. Look, there are 2 ways. You either like behaving this way - then stay the way you are and hopefully you'll find someone who likes you like that - or you don't - in which case bring your shit together and do something with yourself. Both ways are not inherently bad and in the end depend of what you PREFER and enjoy the most. Just don't choose one over another because you hesitate or are ashamed. You are the key to the life that you seek, quoting one of the songs I just dug out of Century Media Records channel. ^^ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vz4yIgnFt0
Thanks for your comment. I appreciate it.
: I think there are more people that can relate to what you feel than you think. I certainly can. First of all: There is absolutely nothing wrong with being introverted. I once read a comparison that imo fits perfectly: For some people, being with others gives them energy. Those people are extroverts. For introverted people it's the opposite: Being with other people drains their energy. I am sure you know this feeling. Being at a party is somewhat okay for a while, but it quickly gets exhausting and although you always think you should go to parties, you don't really want to. This is absolutely normal and you are not a loser because of it. A lot of introverts, including me, feel exactly the same way. You are not alone with this. I think one of the reasons why introverts like us sometimes think something might be wrong with us is the social pressure to be extroverted. Extroverted people simply don't understand how people can enjoy being alone, because for them it's hell and they get depressive when they are alone too much. And extroverts happen to be more vocal about their way of life, which is why it is very easy to mistake this whole "Be as social as possible; never be alone"-attitude for the "normal" way to live your life. But it's not. It's normal for extroverts. You are not wrong just because you are not like that, you are simply not an extrovert. I am not saying that having social contacts is entirely unimportant for introverts. But it should be people you are comfortable with. Don't force yourself to be with people you don't actually want to be with. Friends are people who either do not drain your energy or who understand that you have your limits and sometimes just want to be alone. My main point here is: Don't beat yourself up just because you think you should be something that you simply aren't. Don't force yourself to act like an extroverted person. It often appears like the way of life of extroverts is the "right" one, but it's not. Don't try to be a person you simply aren't. You will not benefit from it in any way. About having a relationship: I am probably not the best person to give you advice on this, but I can basically tell you the same as before: Don't force yourself to be someone you are aren't. Don't force yourself to go to parties you don't like. Try to get social contacts SOMEWHERE, but don't force yourself to things that are just not you. After all you want to meet a girl that likes you, not a girl that likes who you pretend to be. And like Coxis said: It will happen when it will happen. Maybe it will take you some time to find the right girl for you. So what? There is nothing wrong with that. Don't get lost in the thought that you are "supposed" to have a girlfriend or that it's normal to be in a relationship. You can't force this and you really shouldn't. And, most importantly: You are not alone with this. A LOT of people are in exactly the same situation. Obviously most people don't really talk much about it, but they exist and it's not as abnormal as you might think. Personally, I have two pieces of advice for you. The first one is the one I kept repeating here again and again. Don't beat yourself up because of who you are. Don't try to be someone else. My second advice is a bit more practical. If you feel unlucky with your way of life, a good way to help yourself is to help others. Try to do something that helps other people. The easiest way to do so is probably to volunteer somewhere. It doesn't really matter what exactly you do, but helping other people is simply the best way to happiness. This might sound like some philosophical bullshít, but it's true. It's even confirmed scientifically. Nothing is as strongly connected to general happiness as helping other people. Altruism really is the best form of egoism. Finding the right thing for you to do and to help other people might be a bit challenging, but trust me, it's worth it. In addition it has the positive side effect that this kind of activity makes it a lot easier to meet like-minded people, without you having to force yourself to do that.
That's good advice. Very kind of you, thank you.
: > [{quoted}](name=i never smurf,realm=EUW,application-id=eZuvYsEr,discussion-id=f7Xl1AGB,comment-id=00010000,timestamp=2017-08-04T22:52:22.051+0000) > > I read it, upvoted it. But I couldn't comment there, I need to be level 7. > > I think, if you don't enjoy LoL, don't play it. No one other than you is forcing you to play this game. > > And for your friend offer, I see you are on EUNE, I made this account on EUW. So it doesn't seem we can talk privately...Thanks anyway. You can join the official RIOT discord community on https://discord.gg/Zuuw75g For now there r less ppl so I'm sure u'll be able to get acquainted and become good friends with a few like me to lend an ear. See u there, same as discord but more interesting relationships there :) Just give it a shot
I was in some discord communities before, I always hated it. Also, I seriously wanna stay anonym. Some people from the boards know who I really am and I don't want that they know about this.
Icemarch (EUNE)
: Hello there, I feel you. I had this kind of feeling a few years back and still feel weird sometimes as I have posted this on the league forum like an hour before you about my situation with league: https://boards.eune.leagueoflegends.com/en/c/off-topic-en/Ls5VViEl-so-here-i-am-crying-out-my-agony-to-the-league-community-which-hasnt-really-noticed-me I honestly would like to help you in anyway possible. Just send one comment to this and I will do my best to help you out and be a friend for you. I know how is it with people who are "weirdos" as I have one of my friends and my brother-in-law who kind of resemble you in my life so I know how it is from first hand experience. I am here to talk with you about basically anything. If you need my help you just need to say it in one word. (I wouldn't like to post my e-mail publicly and start right from there as the internet is not the safest place for that)
I read it, upvoted it. But I couldn't comment there, I need to be level 7. I think, if you don't enjoy LoL, don't play it. No one other than you is forcing you to play this game. And for your friend offer, I see you are on EUNE, I made this account on EUW. So it doesn't seem we can talk privately...Thanks anyway.
Rismosch (EUW)
: Maybe watch the cartoon till the end?
Maybe I should. But it wont change me being lonely!
Rismosch (EUW)
: I am lonely too, but I learned to live with it. It kinda fascinates me that someone can get depressed over a cartoon xd
I know that it's stupid, but what should I do? I can't stop thinking about it.
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